i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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