We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
how does that bad decision feel?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize