brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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