I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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