PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I puked a lego.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
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tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
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He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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