When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
