I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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