my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
