my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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