Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Randomize
