"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
