Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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