I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
