Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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