names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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