Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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