We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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