He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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