her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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