I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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