ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
