its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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