So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Randomize
