Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
