Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
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