I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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