That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize