it hurts more in the daytime
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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