Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
