Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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