There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
either way he was missing a nipple.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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