Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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