it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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