So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
