I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
