I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize