i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize