Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I just gift wrapped bread.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
