Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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