im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
