Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
