it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
At least make sure they are 18
Why
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
