so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
