I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
your room smells of hookers.
And success
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
