When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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