I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
