Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
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Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
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I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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