I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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