Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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