what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
