You made me cry and you don't even care
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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