I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
